What A Thought

I told myself, no,no,and no.

I’ll never be in love.

But then I found you, and oh ho ho,

am I floating high above!

My bitter cynicism said

Don’t fall for treacherous, deceitful love,

that want to wed,

that sneaky hidden crow within a dove.

So I followed my instinct to never to be fooled

and let love push me around

pressing on me its rules.

But it chased and chased, that wicked red hound

Til I gave in to its kisses, it’s kisses and mounds

of hugs, of which for I was ill trained.

Oh, but right after, how great what I found!

A lovely man lovely, gave his heart to slain

my wicked bitter self, so incredulous

And oh, what a thought

to be so mean to love,

when all I so sought,

was to be towards him, shoved.

Obituaries and Yearbooks

It’s at this time of the year when we’re all so festive, so roaring to go. I arrive at the end of a 13 year-old year journey to continue another,possibly longer, journey. And so, everyone buys the yearbook. We gather around the pages, giggle at the people who were caught in mid-sentence, and search diligently for our own faces within our book of memories. Then, as tradition suggest, the yearbook is passed around and signed, with happy memories and hopes for the future. Sometimes when you sign the yearbook, you completely lie. Or other times, you have to make up something for a person you never really knew.  Perhaps you’re writing in your best friend’s book, and then the pressure is on to write one hell of signature.

We’ll never forget each other,

Love, L

From the minute I met you, I knew you were different. : D

See you next year!

Love, L

We never spoke much, but I could tell you were something else.

Keep on trucking.

Love, L

Today I was on the midst of writing my first signature on an obituary. I sat there and thought. And thought. And thought some more. The young man who passed away was not a friend of mine, barely an acquaintance. To sum it up, neither of us had an interest in the other. So what could I possibly say? Whatever I’d like to say, I don’t want to write it there, for everyone to judge and then cry about it. So I’ll write it here.

You and I were never friends. I could tell that you thought we could never be friends. I thought you were one of those country hicks and I’m certain you thought I was some sort of crazy teen girl who wears sunglasses in the dark of night. But I could tell, that you had the power to change everything at the whim of a moment. I never thought you would have used it for what you have. It could’ve been to turn your life around, to go on and do completely positive and wonderful things. I saw your characteristics, even before you opened your mouth. Your humor, your smarts, your feigned nonchalance. I know you never meant to be who you were.  So you used this power in what you thought was the best of ways, a sacrifice to yourself and your family, and you thought it was best. You believed in what you’ve done would be a positive thing, not only for you, but the ones closest to you. So if that’s your decision, then this stranger is right behind you. And if there is god, you’re up there,sitting on a throne made out of silk, drinking only the finest beer.

Enjoy,

Lissy

Rest in Peace Dean.

The Stranger

Your eyes looked over me,

legs walked by.

You stood taller than me,

red,but why?

Why did you spend those many days

kicking persons out of your way

and thinking you were king of the hills

when all your act was a petty fill

in your empty life?

You were looking for something you didn’t find.

I never knew you, drifter.

In the end you gave up, turned the world blind

to your anger, your passion,your pain.

Inscribed in a note,

your troubles turncoat

and you take to yourself

and leave behind

a wanderer.

Wanderer.

I never knew you,

but you were alone in your own world.

In the mirror you saw

a face unknown.

You saw what I see;

A Stranger.

Died

When I think of death, I dont think of tears. I don’t think of blood, or worms, or rotting bodies. I don’t think of heaven, I don’t think of hell. I don’t believe humans should think of death as an end, but rather as a beginning.

I think…Death is the renewal of magic in the air, the renewal of Mother Nature’s children. Death doesn’t hinder a person, it only changes them. They’ll never be the same again, but they’re still there, because once you’re here, there’s no where else you could go.

Think of death as energy. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It’s in a constant cycle. When people die, they were neither new nor did they live. We are all of the same backbone, and when we die, we return that backbone into the earth, for another to use, another life to continue,another life to begin.

In order for the human race to continue, space must be made, and there’s no other way to do it other than with death.

And death isn’t racist. Death isn’t biased. Death doesn’t give a damn if you’re black or white, yellow or red. Death doesn’t care if you had an education. Death doesn’t care if you never got married, never had children, never turned 18. Death only sees a number. That, is the saddest part of death.

But in saddness, you will find happiness. In every disaster, there is a speck of gold,waiting to be uncovered, to shine a warm light over your heart and renew your faith.  And after you feel death come and steal from you, remember that it’s only doing it’s job. Instead of crying over the dead, over something that could never be undone, look around you. Open your eyes to the happiness of the world; The vast,myserious,and blue oceans. Caramel colored puppies. Cotton Candy. Sunsets of tints.

People die everyday, and nothing can be done about that. What is most important to learn from death is that the living must continue, must move forward with valor, face the dark villain some day in the future, and try to accomplish your purpose for making that first loud cry, that first,sweet wink.

How To: Choose Between Colleges

Are you in your last year of high school, with fees and deadlines catching up to you? Then you must be a worried senior! You might be stuck between two or three or even four college choices that you’ve already received positive letters from. Relax-I’m going to try to help you figure this mess out.

Financial Issues

The number one priority in each student’s pocket is money. It’s a shame,but true. Money shouldn’t be a priority in choosing what college is best for you. In fact, this section should be put last, but with our slumping economy, the color green is your best friend.

Whichever college gives you the most financial aid doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve won you over. Another college may have given you less of an award, but has a smaller tuition,fee, and cheaper supplies/books. Take into account whether or not you’ll be living on campus or at home. Living in a dorm will cost much,much more.

If college #1 gives you a 10,000 dollar award and college #2 didn’t give you as much, wait before you take the next step and ask yourself these questions:

1. How much is the difference between these schools? Is it more than 5,000?10,000? If it’s only a 5,000 dollar difference, and the school is clearly better, than there’s no shame in taking out loans.
2. Can you decrease the amount you’ll need for the college that is awarding you a lesser amount? Is it flexible?
3. Which school has your intended major(s)?

Did you answer each question with the same answer? Then you’re definitely ready to go. Maybe it took you forever to answer these questions, and your results were nowhere near completion. Continue reading,my friend.
Transfer

Before making this life changing decision, give some thought to transferring later on. You could go two directions

• Go to school A for two years,then transfer to school B

OR

• Go to school B for two years, then transfer to school A

Maybe all you want from School B is a diploma with your name on it. Does it look better? Will it attract employers? These are questions your need to ask yourself.

Also, there’s the important issure of credits. Transfer students deal with a lot of mess. Sometimes credits completed at one school are not transferable or are credits from courses not taught at another school. You know what this means; you’ll end up repeating the same courses over and possibly graduating later. It will also result in spending money for classes you’ve already taken. If you do decide to transfer from one school to another, make sure credits are transferable to as many schools as possible.

The Gap Year

Tired of school? Tired of having spent days choosing a college? Consider taking a break from it all! The gap year is a European tradition, and is making its way around the US. But like everything else, there are advantages and disadvantageous to the mysterious gap year.

Advantages

• Time off(of course)
• Chance for travel
• Chance for volunteering
• Chance to step off the academic hamster wheel
• Chance to work, for saving up money, or just extra bucks.
• More time to think things over

Disadvantages

• May end up doing nothing all year
• Stuck at home
• May forget many of the things you learned
• May need a refresher before going back to school
• If your friends are at college, you will be alone.
• May be just a waste of time

Go for a Better Education, Not a Better Name!

I can’t stress this enough. Just because a school is more expensive, prestigious, or revered doesn’t mean it offers what you need! The top schools in the US are not the cleanest places in the world. More often than not, those expensive,private schools end up being the party schools. Why pay 30,000 dollars a year for a piece of paper that you could have payed less for and even received a better deal for? In the end, it’s not the money, it’s not the honor; it’s the experience and the education you can make for yourself at that school.

Choosing which college to attend is a life changing decision. Don’t just toss a coin! Think about it, or you might just end up regretting your decision for a long time. However, whatever your experience might turn out to be, keep a positive outlook and remember that your years in college are unique to only you. No one else could have had those memories, and no matter where you go, the memories you receive, and hopefully the education, will be priceless.

Cruise 2009

So I went on a cruise January 30th and well, I have to say, my expectations weren’t met… They were completely surpassed.The ship we took was named the Carnival Imagination, and it was the absolute most greatest vacation I’ve ever been on. Besides the free food, and the free food, and did I mention the free food, there was great entertainment coupled with tons to do.

Boarding

Getting on the ship was a matter all on its own. You arrive, and the porters quickly harass you for luggage. We are not generous tippers so obviously, we gave whatever we had handy at the time( around 4 dollars). The porter handling our luggage immediately looked at his palm, counted the singles and said in a most nonchalant voice, “You know, most people pay a dollar per bag”. Having about 12 bags, we gave up the difference and then stood around. The porter got tired of us and demanded that we go away.  He told us he’d take care of everything and that we should continue on our way.

Once we arrived at this set of double glass doors, we stood in line and waited for an old man at a desk to verify that we were actually the people whose names appear on the tickets. Took him a total of say, 1 minute or less. Very secure. The metal detectors were next, and took up the most time in this whole process. Every person with whom I was traveling with forgot that metal detectors detect…metal. So after that line we went straight to another line, and a much longer one at that. But once we were through there, we boarded the ship, where I met a very angry embarkation employee. My guest card was stuck in it’s envelope so it took me a little longer than everyone else to get it out and he had to check it. There was no one behind me and he still just took it out of my hand and basically threw it at me, growling “Keep it out”. Soured, I angrily marched into the ship.Soon enough,however, we encountered our first buffet at the poolside which was filled with burgers and hot dogs and fries, oh my! It was all very delicious; I had a burger, hot dog, fries, and cake. Mmmm, chocolate cake.

Rockin’

At around 4:30, the ship slowly started to turn and it was the most funnest thing ever! From there on, it felt like we were on a roller coaster all day long! Depending on your view of this, it could either be a very good thing or a very bad thing. For example, my friend’s mother was very sick by the end of the night, and finished up her first day on the ship with her face in a hole.

On the subject matter of bathrooms, ship bathrooms are so clean! They scintillate with cleanliness. When you flush the toilet, it roars at you and vacuums everything in through this very small hole. It was frightening the first few times and unexpected, but it soon became somewhat amusing. On the sink, there was also a very nice amenities basket which was very helpful.

Dinner began at 8:15, and there wasn’t really any picky people friendly items. The attendants were fantastic though, very amiable, and intelligent. Bread was tasty, butter was made available, and the table was in a very artistic section of the dining room, set upon steps, facing a window with reddish-purple drapes. It was all very elegant.

The Bahamas

Promptly at 7:30 AM the next day, we arrived in port at the Bahamas! There was a checkout process and we sort of got lost trying to get off the ship, but we made it out eventually. It was cold and most of us were improperly dressed for such a windy day. The water was beautiful though. The ocean surface was so blue and it had a silvery coated skin on top, similar to that of hot chocolate. A somewhat out-of-place sign greeted us as we made it onto the island. And then, from every possible angle, resident Bahamians poked and prodded into our business and asked over and over again if we wanted a tour of the island. Politely, we said no to each one and kept walking on our own, not really knowing what we were doing.

After realizing that we actually don’t have any idea what we’re doing, we gave in to a tour of the island. Our guide called himself “The Magic Man”, and he promised that he would show us exactly why he had such a title, all for only 20 dollars a person. So he pulled us in, and we waited on the curb for him to bring in his van. About 5 minutes later, he came by and began to back up the van. A police officer stood by,watching. Quickly, we entered the van, and as soon as the doors slammed shut, the police officer came around the driver’s seat and gave Magic Man a ticket for “obstructing traffic”. This was no petty ticket either; A 120 dollar ticket. Now, he was forced to go to this sort of round-a-bout of cars to get his ticket. He assured us this would be quick. It wasn’t. Ten minutes had passed and no one had given him the damn ticket yet. Even worse, we were stuck behind a line of cars that would not, or could not, move.  Half an hour passed, and still no movement. We all decided it’d be best to just leave now before the driver returns(he was out trying to speed up the process). Ultimately, the Magic Man was really a magician- He made us disappear…

Originally, we had proposed to rent scooters for all the couples, and now we figured we may as well do that. At 50 a pop for 4 hours, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. My boyfriend, Andrew, was the driver then, and well, he’s never been that good a driver his whole life. Yes, I was scared out of my mind since Andrew had a thing for crashing while remain stationary. One after another, each scooter followed in a zigzag order. For a while, no one knew how to drive their damn machine. Eventually, we all got the hang of it, but Andrew was never any good at it. We decided to go to the Atlantis Hotel, but to get their, we had to drive over a huge hill/bridge. It was frightening. I felt that Andrew was going to crash and it would be my final breath of life, but somehow, we made it.

In short, Atlantis was beautiful. It was a shame we couldn’t stay there. The architecture was modern,yet somewhat medieval, and they had these huge glass sculptures in every major sector of the hotel. My favorite part of Atlantis was the aquarium. Inside, there were plenty of different species of fish, including this one odd type, which sort of lethargically swam around in groups. Their mouths seemed to open and close, open and close, and it seemed to me that were were saying “meh,meh,meh,meh” and were very nonchalant about the whole “people-staring-at-us-hrough-glass” thing. While those were very funny to observe, the manta ray was the greatest thing there. With it’s majestic fins, it swam left to right, to left, to right. The manta ray came so close to the glass, it almost felt like you could reach out and touch it. It seemed to be a friendly, underwater phoenix.

After taking enough pictures of the hotel and the aquarium to fill several albums, we returned to our parked scooters. William, one of the people travelling with me, was having trouble turning on his scooter. It refused to turn on. Several minutes of frustrated kicking, thrusting and screaming later, we decided to call the scooter rental people to come give us a new scooter. A few minutes later, two other tourists parked near us were trying to get their scooter to work. Andrew’s father offered them some tips, but they snobbily refused to pay us any attention. Soon after, the scooter rental people showed up in a truck, blasting hip hop, and just having a blast. They placed our broken scooter into the back, and gave us another one. The idiot tourists from before still couldn’t turn on their scooter,so the rental people went over there, pushed really hard on the crank, and turned on. Needless to say, they felt like idiots…Those idiots.

Then, we had to make it back to the docks but, where the hell were we? We past by the bridge again, and amazingly, I didn’t scream for my life, but once we got on the streets, my voice came right back. Bahamians don’t know to drive,man! They’re rude and just everywhere! It was really trepidating. And they say Americans can’t drive…You haven’t seen Bahamians drive if you still believe that statement. Oh, and what’s best is that Andrew almost drove us into a ditch the size an inflatable adult pool. And then we lost Robert. He reappeared 4 streets later, and by the grace of God, we made it back the docks, turned in the scooters, and then decided to get back on the ship. The others stayed behind, but Andrew and I decided we had had enough of the Bahamas.

That Same Evening

It was soon reported that Andrew’s sister was still having an allergic reaction to some sort of medicine. Andrew’s mother cried and then later, there was another phone call…For me? It was my mother, reporting some fantastic news; I was accepted to the University of Miami! Weeeeeeeeee! To celebrate, we left the ship again, at night, to the Bahamas, and into a neat,little club shack called Senor Frog’s.  On the way, the porter didn’t believe I was 18, so I had to search for my license and Andrew couldn’t find it. Turns out, it was in his wallet…When we got in, Andrew’s mother brought us a foot long, ice margarita and it was good. We have another one later. We were both just fine, but the rest of them weren’t.Eventully, we left, and it was cold and we were sort of buzzed. When we got back to the ship, we laid in bed and watch television.

After that, we realized there was a comedy show tonight, so we went to see that and it was hilarious.

Then, Aida came around and asked if we wanted to go the casino, and being fresh on the 18, of course.  We got there and jumped on the machine. I made the first win, of 12 dollars and 50 cents and later won a few other bucks. It was a good amount of fun. However, every 15 minutes, I got carded, so I stuck my license in my pocket and waited to people to come up to me and ask “Are you 18?”. It was quite annoying. And of course, after that, we fell asleep.

The Last Day of Fun

We spent our final day of fun eating and doing just about anything we could.We took a good bit of pictures and we traveled to places on the ship we hadn’t yet seen. When the evening came around, we attended karaoke. I really wanted to sing, but not alone, and everyone who was traveling with me were being a fruitcake. Andrew refused to sing with me, even though he usually sings around the house anyway. But oh well, it was tons of fun.

Departure

Finally, the ship arrived at the port of Miami. We had a final breakfast, stuffed ourselves, packed, and took our luggage around with us. Check out was extremely simple. You follow a line, you pull out ID, and you leave. Super quick. I figured they’d check your luggage and everything,but nothing. It was nice to not have to worry so much about leaving. We got in the car and so it ended. T__T

All in all, my first cruise was amazing. I wish I would’ve stayed up later on most nights, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m glad I went with the people I did and I’d reccomend a cruise to anyone! If only I could go again…

Before 12:00 PM

Whenever I’m not in school, I have an odd morning ritual; I can’t get up past 12. I need to wake up before 12. The problem is, that once you wake up after 12, the day goes by too quickly and I value my time too much. Does anyone else notice this? The hours just fly by after noon. So I never sleep in. I wish I could. I’ll just take a nap sometime later.

Heather On Writing a Poem

Heather picks up pencil and pen,
but ends up quite sad again.
Instead of happy,
she writes crappy,
and she thinks “The end will come when?

Where Cars Go to Die

And the sky is grey

the lights,they’re dim.

The metal things line

up,here to pay.

One door down

and two wheels gone.

Together everyone

makes one useless mound.

Mother, she left.

Father still here,

and sister’s soul

still left for theft.

“Good bye, good son”

Mother,she said.

And to the flames she took.

Father and I, we watched, eyes wide,

as mother burned and shook.

“Well,you and I”

Father he said

“Together still shall be,

for us good cars go up

instead of with that she.”

How sad to say

How tragic is

the life of lifeless things.

When,eventually,

one becomes three

and live us immortally.

A Kid Named Toast

Toast was a very skinny, gaunt child, unlike his slightly overweight, dull edged parents. He had bright green eyes and fire shocked hair nearly half as long as he was. However, he was quite short, and could be compared to a very small,human square. Round arm chairs had always been Toast’s mortal enemies, as he always had problems fitting into their padded shapes. Simply put, Toast was unlike any person in the universe.

He usually only dressed in yellow, which he thought was ironic because butter is yellow as well. During the early morning hours of school, Toast tended to make people very voracious. They often sat at his table only to stare and drool at his buttered toast appearance. Luckily, Toast never minded. By lunch, his starved companions would refuel and normal conversations would ensue for the rest of the day. Then again any conversation with Toast was never a normal one.

He was super imaginative, that Toast. Everyday was a different story. He regularly grew tired of normal school with normal people and their normal names. The teacher would often condone Toast for daydreaming about various jams or peanut butters, which he said sometimes whispered and walked into the door and mocked him. Toast hated jam and peanut butter. In fact, Toast hated everything that wasn’t cereal. It was simply amazing that he had made it to year seven of his life. At the doctor’s office, nurses would glare in amazement at his lab results because he was extremely healthy. It was all very weird.

One particular morning, Toast was sitting at the table, fiddling with the horseshoes in his Lucky Charms. His spoon poked and sliced at the marshmellows,pushing them far into the milk. He stared into his bowl, wondering what life would be like as soggy cereal. He imagined it would be very humid. Somehow, he figured it might have been more exciting and spontaneous than life as Toast.

A note from the author on this post:

You should always write something…Even if it doesn’t make sense.